What is success?!

Well, I just happened to read something that I had written a few years ago called ‘A treat for my own eyes’, about my reaching of certain milestones in life and the story behind them.

And although tears of happiness and flashback rolled through my eyes, what I realised by the end of reading it is that the words like ‘achievements’, ‘goals’, ‘success’, ‘failure’ are so time relative and short-spanned in nature. What we perceive as success today, may well not be even near that in a few years to come! That does not in any way demean or discredit your achievements or the struggles behind them, but it only makes you realise that it is not ‘eternal’ and ‘everything’ in life. Success or failure, life moves on and so do you. 

It is a part of life fully relevant at a particular time of your life. Once you cross that, the mind and heart automatically switch to ‘what next’ mode! Which then means no matter what you achieve and what you don’t, it’s relevant only in that point of time in your life. It’s momentary bliss. Wonderful, but not eternal. So then why tremble and fear for mistakes? For so called failures? We attach so much of fear and resistance to risk-taking and faltering that we just fail to realise that the very end result of it all, which in worst case be failure, is also very momentary! It comes and goes, but in fact leaves something behind to plunge from. 

So that said, what is the point of writing this today? It just occurred to me that, many a time, we reach those points in day to day situations of life when defining these words like ‘success’ and ‘failure’ itself becomes challenging, relative and microscopic. Life till here was relatively simpler. Life’s goals were more or less fixed by the system that we were a part of. Meaning, while studying, to excel and bring accolades to yourself and your institution, was the goal. The next one was to fetch yourself some good work. Then to be the ideal worker and learn the craft. Then comes the real challenge now, as to how do you say you have learnt it all to be on your own two feet, when you know one lifetime will not be sufficient to learn it all. So that leaves you with an additional task of ‘defining your own goals’ now! You need to know when to start, when to stop, how much to do, what to do, and how to do! Back to the basics! So it’s a full circle of learning, implementing, and rejoicing the fruits of the two. When you are here, can you still locate one thing as success? 

What is success? Being able to wake up everyday and go to work? Being able to touch lives with your knowledge? Being able to earn money? Being able to take sundays off? Being able to bring changes in people’s lives? Being able to contribute to your family and society? Being a good human being? Is my definition same as yours? What is it after all! 

So if I am given a paper and a pen to write today about what will be the treat for my own eyes to see, read and feel good about myself, I don’t think I will be able to do that. Not because there are no struggles and corresponding accomplishments, but there are so many spread across several horizons of life that one particular definition of success does not fit it all! 

Thus my friends, This lesson. This learning. This understanding. Reaching here.. is my success as on today! What is yours?!

Half full or half empty?

There are those moments in life,

When they are neither in the right,

Nor on the wrong;

They don’t bring light;

Nor are dark,

They are on the fence.

You cannot hold on to them,

You cannot let them go.

Life seems full with them, but wrong,

And life seems dull without, but right.

You choose right over dull, you are not yourself,

You choose full over wrong, life is not simple.

Go days and years in this battle,

To mend the fence, and blur the line,

When finally the moments fall apart,

Half here, half there. 

Now the glass is half full or half empty,

Is all on the eyes that see,

But you have lived the life on fence,

Neither here, nor there, in the middle?

Or

Half here, half there, with flavours of both?

~Anu

The Moon of Sky!

Breeze on face when you shine in sky,

is all I need to breathe and sigh.

In a place stuck for now,

your gaze gives me hope, 

and a few moments off the rope!

As i stand today and see you,

I wonder if you ever get tired of your life.

Of roaming the sky in cycles, 

sometimes shining half and sometimes in full. 

And not for a day or two, but since time nil.

But as i thought and thought,

I lost my thoughts to your radiant beauty and charm,

and stood there numb in awe,

to only return to my place with a smile and calm.

"By being you and shining through,

you get to be the MOON of SKY!"

                                           

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE - THE SHADOW PANDEMIC

‘DOMESTIC VIOLENCE’ - THE SHADOW PANDEMIC:

“The brightest flame casts the darkest shadow.”     - George R. R. Martin

Covid-19/Coronavirus disease has indeed become one of the brightest flames claiming not only millions of lives and livelihoods across the Globe, but also casting some ugly shadows that are as dark, if not more, as the pandemic itself. To combat such a ferocious virus, India was forced to go for lockdown which not only brought the nation to a stand-still, but also paved way for many suppressed realities of our society to emerge out in open and run parallelly as “Shadow Pandemics”, one such being “Domestic Violence against Women”.

The statistics provided by the National Commision of Women, India, shows a drastic increase in the number of domestic violence cases reported during lockdown in the country, and this paper is an attempt to understand the reasons for the same. 

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND PATRIARCHY:

‘Domestic Violence against Women’ is a crime that is placed in the misogyny of the societal setup. As the Committee on Equal Opportunities for Women and Men puts it:

“Violence against women is a question of power, of the need to dominate and control. This in turn is rooted in the organization of society, itself based on inequality between the sexes. The meaning of this violence is clear: it is an attempt to maintain the unequal relationship between men and women and to perpetuate the subordination of women.” 

“Traditionally the basis of social differentiation was biological as women had to undergo the process of child bearing and rearing and men were predisposed for earning livelihood for the family. They were assigned the role of father and husband and treated as heads of household under a patriarchal system. This, in turn, made them centres of power, resource, property, etc., where women were restricted to the husband and children through the institution of marriage and family. The dependence on men resulted in an unequal distribution of power relation in the family.”

THE PROVISIONS OF THE PWDVA AND ANALYSIS OF THE DEFINITION OF ‘DOMESTIC VIOLENCE’ AND DISPARITY IN THE ABUSES INTER SE:

The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005, (PWDVA) was considered as a victory of a battle long fought. It was devised to protect women from the abusive hands and minds of the people who are her ‘family’. The provisions of the Act are indeed commendable as it provides for, inter-alia, a very extensive and an inclusive definition of ‘domestic violence’; Protection Officers; assistance mechanisms; right to a shared household; right to an alternate accommodation; Protection Orders; right of removal of the perpetrators of violence from the shared household and the like and in addition to all these reliefs, compensatory reliefs are also provided for. However, the benefits of all these accrue to a victim of abuse only when the act complained of is considered as “domestic violence” and hence the definition of “domestic violence” becomes the backbone of the legislation. Chapter II, Section 3 of the Act defines “Domestic Violence”. It lays down that, inter alia, any act, omission or commission or conduct of the Respondent which harms or injures or endangers the health, safety, limb or well-being, whether mental or physical, of the aggrieved person or tends to do so is “domestic violence” and includes causing physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal and emotional abuse and economic abuse.  Thus, it sub-categorises the abuses into four, namely, physical abuse, sexual abuse, verbal and emotional abuse, and economic abuse. 

When it comes to the matters of a family confined to four walls, where the access to truth, precision and reality is too dim and the act/s complained of cannot be viewed in isolation but through the entirety of the situation and circumstances, the overall consideration of various factors involved behind the alleged act of abuse becomes primordial for a meaningful interpretation of “domestic violence”. For some women, a slap on the face may not justify as an ‘abuse’ as it has become their way of life, which ideally should change; but for some others, mere ‘silence’ by the Respondent/s in a situation that warranted his/their words may become an abuse. For some women, a slap behind closed doors is not an abuse but the same in the presence of others may become an abuse. I cite these examples to highlight the importance of Explanation II to the definition under the Act and that, according to me, is the most important tool provided under the Act which has to be exercised diligently.

In a famous English case of R. v. Dhaliwal, the husband continually undermined and demeaned his wife for a long period of time, before she finally committed suicide. Each act looked at separately might have been regarded as no more than an unpleasant remark, a cruel insult at worst. The English Court of Appeal was also unable to find an offence committed by him. However, once the final act of suicide was seen in the broader context of prolonged and regular subjection to belittling remarks, the impact of which were such that she was reduced to committing suicide, it was difficult to miss the severity of the alleged behavior. 

When a woman runs to a police station to complain about an emotional abuse caused by the indifferent attitude of her husband, the first set of questions that she has to cross through is, does he hit you? or does he force for sex? or does he insult you? and if the answers to these questions run in the negative, then the abuse becomes ‘trivial’ and the woman becomes ‘silly’. This is so because an ‘emotional abuse’ by the ‘indifferent attitude’ of the ‘husband/partner’ is no abuse at all. This episode speaks a lot about the efficiency of PWDVA. Such an approach towards the ‘emotional abuse’ is not only placing it below in the hierarchy of abuses but is also creating a disparity in our approach towards the various kinds of abuses enshrined in the Act. The emotional, verbal and economic abuses are not only compared and contrasted with that of physical and sexual abuses every time, but are also undermined because they are deemed to be less graver than the physical and sexual abuses. Undoubtedly, physical and sexual abuses are harsher as they inflict both physical as well as mental pains, but that does not justify ignoring and undermining the other kinds of abuses mentioned in the Act, which, if done, defeats the whole purpose of the Act itself. 

Physical and sexual injuries are offences under the criminal law as well. They are invariably visible and hence, tough to be denied. But when the act complained of involves an emotional or a verbal or an economic injury, such injuries are not visible and thus become subject to the subjective analysis of the ‘men’ in authority and if it passes the test, it becomes an abuse, otherwise it fails to even reach the book of law. This is one of the huge drawbacks of the PWDVA which leaves such abuses to the mercy and understanding of an individual concerned and his subjective approach.

Another reason for such a disparity between the four abuses to exist is, in reality the word “omission” present in the definition of ‘domestic violence’ has almost become redundant. Majority of the reported cases of domestic violence pertain to the ‘commission’ of an act amounting to ‘abuse’ but do not consider ‘omission’ or abstaining from the duties/obligations cast upon the Respondent/s towards the well-being of a woman as an abuse.  In other words, the definition casts both positive and negative duties on the Respondent, while the ‘Negative duty’ requires him not to do acts that endanger/harm the well-being (mental or physical) of an aggrieved person, the ‘Positive duty’ requires doing of acts that are towards the welfare and well-being of the aggrieved person. However, if a case of an omission to do a particular act towards the well-being of an aggrieved person is reported to the police or any such like authority, it fails to gain any attention whatsoever, as it is again compared with the commission of some overt acts of violence/abuse and thus ends up as ‘less graver’ form of abuse or no abuse at all.

Watching a woman harm herself physically or mentally when pushed to that state by any person or circumstances and doing nothing about it, is a form of physical abuse too. Subjecting a woman to exertion by denying a helping hand to her in times of a lockdown where there is no domestic help, is again a form of physical abuse. Deliberate abstinence from fulfilling the sexual needs of a woman is a form of sexual abuse. Reluctance towards the emotional requirements of a woman is an emotional abuse too. Limiting the financial resources for a home so as to satisfy one’s luxurious self-needs is a form of economic abuse. All these are instances where an abuse is caused not by ‘commission’ of a violent act, but by ‘omission’ of a duty. Unfortunately, the term ‘domestic violence’ in India has become almost synonymous with only the infliction of pain/injury by doing acts of violence but does not cover under it the ‘non-doing’ of acts of kindness and care which are the foundations on which an intimate relationship like that of a marriage or the like, stands on.

In the case of Vajresh Venkatraman Anvekar vs. State of Karnataka, the complainant-wife committed suicide pursuant to being tortured and slapped by husband and his other relatives, and the Learned Sessions Judge while acquitting the husband and other accused, held as follows: 

“........Therefore, giving one or two beatings is not cruelty to drive the deceased to commit suicide.”

While setting aside this holding of the Learned Sessions Judge as “perverse”, the Apex Court held as follows:

“28. The tenor of the judgment suggests that wife-beating is a normal facet of married life. Does that mean giving one or two slaps to a wife by a husband just does not matter? We do not think that that can be a right approach.…..Assault on a woman offends her dignity. What effect it will have on a woman depends on the facts and circumstances of each case. There cannot be any generalisation on this issue.….The above quoted extracts add to the reasons why the learned Sessions Judge's judgment can be characterised as perverse. They show a mindset which needs to change…..”

Unfortunately, not all such cases reach and can afford to reach the Apex Court in India for it to intervene and lay down the real meaning of ‘dignity to life’ and therefore, such abuses and the victims of such abuses see their death in this: “Therefore, giving one or two beatings is not cruelty to drive the deceased to commit suicide.”

DISPARITY IN THE DOMESTIC ABUSES VIS-A-VIS THE CRISIS OF A PANDEMIC:

The point that I wish to drive home by the aforementioned discussion is that, unless the ‘omission’ to do acts towards the well-being of a woman is also brought under the purview of ‘domestic violence’, the true purpose of the PWDVA remains partially achieved. And that explains the increase in the number of domestic violence cases against women across the Globe and in India during a crisis like that of a lockdown. The word omission has been omitted from the minds of people which requires them to consider the woman-partner of the family as an ‘equal’ and thus contribute positively towards her physical and mental well-being by sharing her burdens and not as a cushion that is there to absorb the frustrations and tensions of men at her home. Most of the domestic violence cases reported during lockdown pertain to men denying help in doing house chores or other such works and thus women getting exerted; abuse from an alcoholic withdrawn husband; restrictions on movements to maternal places or any other such deemed safe places; frustrations of job and income issues being vented out on woman; frequent quarrels at home over economic issues; and most importantly, the expected police apathy towards the domestic violence cases in times of a lockdown which has already over-burdened them, and the like. 

The overview of these complaints make us realise that there is a need for us to change our way of looking at ‘domestic violence’ cases. Most of these would not even satisfy the definition of ‘domestic violence’ previously, unless it involved some form of physical/sexual/emotional/economic injury, as mere failure to do some positive acts towards the well-being of the woman of the house was deemed to be no abuse at all. All the existing socio-legal mechanisms like that of NGOs, police, lawyers, law-makers, judiciary, local administrators, panchayats, and the like, have greatly fallen short by giving such a narrow interpretation to ‘domestic violence‘, and thus, should step-up now and broaden their vision and mindset about ‘domestic violence/abuse’, otherwise the object of the whole Act gets compromised. 

In addition to this, the service of the ‘Protection Officers’ provided under the Act should come under the “essential services” for them to be effective during a crisis like that of the current one, otherwise the women with no means to seek help will suffer enormously. In regard to the fear of the victims of domestic abuse vis-a-vis the over-crowding of ‘shelter homes’ during a lockdown, and thus their failure to report such abuses, the Government should step-in to ensure that it will be the perpetrators of abuse that shall be removed from the household and not the victims, and thereby put the provisions of the PWDVA to a meaningful use.

CONCLUSION WITH SUGGESTIONS:

‘Domestic violence against women’ is a crime that happens behind the closed door between people emotionally involved and linked intimately. It is a very heavy load on the victim that has the capability of breaking homes and lives associated with it, if reported. It is an offense that umbrellas various variables like educational, social, economic, and religious backgrounds, societal status, individual principles and the like of the parties involved. Therefore, it is almost impossible to have a universal definition of this crime and should be that way. The true purpose and meaning of the PWDVA will be achieved only when each case is studied in isolation, objectively, and taking into consideration all the facts and circumstances involved, and then applying the parameters of ‘domestic violence’ as laid down in the Act.

Time has come to not only ensure that every woman of the land is free from infliction of any kind of physical pain on her body, but also is shielded well when it comes to the abuses that are bulleted into her emotional sphere. Mental health and hygiene is as important as that of physical health and hygiene and therefore, emotional/verbal/economic abuses which may not touch a woman's body per se, are still abuses and there is no right for anyone to to snatch away the rights of a victim of these abuses by placing them in comparison or in contrast to physical/sexual abuses. 

Women, irrespective of their class, age or region, are made the primary custodian of the home-management affairs in two ways, one, they are shredded with these responsibilities as a matter of right without knowing their individual wish and will, and two, they are judged adversely if they do not wish to take up these responsibilities. Biological responsibilities of a woman like that of rearing a child or breast-feeding a baby and the like are understandably to be done by her only, but these socially tailored practices made in the name of ‘division of labor’ without taking the consent of the woman involved, to systematically keep her away from the sources of authority and power and satisfy one’s selfish ends, should stop. The Stone Age is long gone, and so should these. This so-called ‘division of labor’ has not just remained a matter of convenience of each house, subject to the mutual arrangements of the partners involved, but has become a deep rooted thought and phenomenon in the minds of people, including both men and women. Therefore, I feel, the current pandemic crisis or not, such a still-existing patriarchal mind-set of people at large has always been a big hurdle in giving the true meaning to the provisions of the PWDVA or for that matter, any other woman-oriented law, and thus the same has to change.

And lastly, it is high time now that men not only stop hitting a woman or force her for sex, but move a step ahead and shun the idea of being 'seen blind and heard deaf' on seeing a woman in distress, and do something positively towards her well-being and give her the dignity and respect that she deserves and are rightfully hers.

Growing up with you

I want to stay here,
In this moment,
Freezing u and me, gluing you to me!
When your sweet gentle lips touch my cheeks,
I feel else nothing is this a bliss!

But my eyes see those days,
When your tiny feet stand firm and strong,
To take you a little far,
Not from my bubble of shelter and care,
But only from my selfish greed of love!

When you teach me that,
Watching you grow is a bliss equal,
And also is a norm of nature,
My heart would then long for lesser hurdles,
And a buttery path for you to slide on!

Seeing you grow bigger each day,
Is the biggest blessing anyday,
And is slightly sweetish--bitter-ish
To watch you striving to lay that step,
That gives you a little 'away-from-me' leap!

Know that you are the reason behind all my smiles,
And the push for me to go those miles,
Where you become a man worth all cries,
And the one who now spreads smiles,

Trust me baby these are the only lines,
That you will cherish when soon time flies!

So here I pray this day that,
May He give you all the might,
To shine and shine only bright,
And the will to fly that flight,
That takes you to my dream sight!

A leap of faith!

There comes a time in life,
When you are pushed through the shadow of mother's care,
To the stage of bright focus lights,
That expect you to smile and win hearts.

There comes a time in life,
When a baby bird is left to fly on its own for food,
And it fumbles, cries, and starves,
To only see a seen blind, heavy hearted mother.

There comes a time in life,
When the strongest human bond is put for dilution,
When the hour arrives for a mother to send off her ever-lil-now-grownup girl away from her.

There comes a time in life,
When the strength is tested most, and showed,
Whilst the girl leaves behind her cocoon, comfort and cause of existence.

There comes a time in life,
When you wake up in the middle of night,
To find that place and warmth in your mother's arms,
To only realize that it now is only a dream and a privilege to have.

But, little did you know that dreams do come true and nothing is as soothing and pleasant than that😊

You take that leap of faith into the cradle of 'another mother', who
Makes you smile and win hearts😊❤
Teaches you to fly and feed yourself🐣
Embraces the toddler-in-marriage, You!👩‍👧
Gives you another cocoon filled with comfort and care🏕
Lays the shoulders of immense love, warmth and strength👩‍👧‍👦

And what more can you ask for now, when blessed with such 'another mother'?!

May be, some ability to make her smile and keep her happy always?

Hoping to do a bit of that today, which day is as special to me as is to many others, for it gave me that 'another mother' away from my mother🤗 And that indeed is a blessing to relish for life😊

You are truly a source of inspiration and admiration for 'many' with me 'on top' in that☺😘

With loads of love,

A very very happy birthday Ma🤗😘
God bless you always😊

                                 Yours,
                            Anu putta!

Happy anniversary mom n dad!

I can't forget the pains you ate to bear me and deliver me, can I mom?
I can't forget those feeding hands with delicious bites filled with love and ghee!, can I dad?

I can't forget those innocent, anxious, num eyes waiting just for me when I am home ten minutes late, can I mom?
I can't forget waking up at 5 am daily and be ready with my Barbie kit just to fall asleep again in car!, can I dad?

I can't forget fighting with you for an extra chapati for my lunch box, or an extra hour of your cell phone, can I mom?
I can't forget those endless questions of mine on your shoulder at night until I fall asleep and your patient answers for each of them!, can I dad?

I can't forget those secret prayers of yours, day-in and day-out, just for our well-being, can I mom?
I can't forget those 5-star chocolates, watermelon and all my favorites always being stocked at home by you, can I dad?

I can't forget all those covers given by you from dad's bullets for my naughtiness!, can I mom?
I can't forget those head massages that give me the most amazing sleep on earth, can I dad?

I can't get this taste of food made by you anywhere else on this planet, can I mom?
I can't get these words of wisdom and confidence, anywhere else, that sort out the 'at-times' miserable me!, can I dad?

I can't forget those words of you that breathed life into me when I was miserably down and gone, can I mom?
I can't forget those whips-of-words by you whenever I erred just to bring me back on the right track, can I dad?

I can't forget the way you eat pains and give smiles, and understand in this life, what it takes for you to do that, can I mom?
I can't forget those sleepless nights of yours just to see us sleep happily and peacefully, can I dad?

😊😊

I can't let go off my backbone, my support system and my source of inspiration and motivation, can I mom?😊

I can't let go off your shoulders that give me the calmest sleep ever, can I dad? 😊

😊You both are the reason for my existence and 'existence this way' today and i am immensely happy, proud and grateful for being your daughter 🤗👨‍👩‍👧😘

😊It is the precious smiles on you both's faces and the pride in eyes that drive our every step in life and are the reasons for our breaths and smiles 😊😊

Those are our beginning and those are our goals 😊

This is you both for all three of us and will always be so ❤😍🤗

Love you both loads 👫 💞😘🤗
Keep smiling😊 it means the world to us💓✌🏻

A treat for my own eyes!

Born to an Anaesthetist father and grandfather, and a Gynaecologist uncle, I guess my career was pretty much sealed! As they cut my umbilical cord, I am sure, they must have imagined me cutting many such in the years to come!

But to their and my big disappointment, eighteen years later, their imagination, which by now had become mine as well, remained one such! I messed up my Medical Entrance test and felt the punch of a 'ban' at the entrance of my 'Doctor-Dream'! Lack of efforts, proper guidance and required quantum of dedication took the form of such a 'ban', I feel, in introspection today.

But yes, the mess was needed. It was needed to break my records of holding head high for being a meritorious student always, and introduce me to the 'Real World' that bothered least about either my merit or my mess! So here I was, saying a Hi to the 'Race of Life', as they say!

Also was I in a two year old Government Law University with not much infrastructure, faculty, or books, but yes at a distance of 13 Kms from my residence which made it 'My Law University' for the next five years!

The wounds of disappointment, extreme shatter, and taunts of people around, and lots of introspection, had now made me realize the worth of two words in life - 'Dedication' and 'Hard work'. They say realization usually comes late, but am glad it came!

'Law' - the word itself was alien to a family of doctors and engineers and so was for me. But not for too long. The journey of making it 'My Love' from an 'Alien' began. Began amidst loads of tears, low morale and a sense of being lost and suppressed. Being a first generation lawyer in a profession that reveres 'family name and fame' was not an easy thing to accept and fight against single handedly.

But then as they say "Luck favours the brave", the two words that I had recently started appreciating more and befriended with, favoured me. Dedication and Hard Work were my new friends now!

There was no looking back thereafter. I had to stop crying somewhere and that's when I started enjoying turning pages of law books, and now I was feeling lost, not in life, but in my dreams of achieving something big by doing something good. The pages of law books had this power of provoking this in me, I must admit today!

The new found friends then drove me only towards more and more books, good marks and the goal of a 'Gold Medal' and proved their loyalty in friendship beyond expectations! However, this whole thing made me realize and continues to do so always, that the power of 'Passion' is immense. It indeed is.

It was the same passion that had pushed me to Delhi in the final year of my law college, by when the words 'Law', 'Justice' and 'Relief' had started making sense to me to aspire to become a Litigation Lawyer with a hope of bringing smiles on some disturbed faces. Yes this is exactly why I wanted to become a doctor as well, but now, 'Law' seemed a better instrument than 'knife and blood'!

So this is how I landed in the chamber of Mr. Rana Mukherjee, a Senior Advocate of the Supreme Court of India at New-Delhi, for a span of four weeks, the life changing ones. I say so for a simple reason that, this chamber made me realize that it is actually possible to 'enjoy your work and life together'. To describe this chamber, I would but require these words: Happiness, Hard-work, Punctuality, Discipline, Simplicity, Love for food, Love for work and a 'Gossip-free-zone'!

Why not, but for obvious, did this chamber now gave me the new goal - "how will it be like to be a part of this chamber? - 'Wow'!"

Again the 'Wow' word's motivation is immense. Unknowingly it drives you towards your dream by making you put-in efforts and energy in that direction. That's called 'Want' of something!

The National Law Universities and CLAT (Common Law Entrance Test) were just a matter of General Knowledge to me as a science student who believed by observing, and quite naturally so, that being a Doctor was the 'Ultimate'. It is undoubtedly so, but may be not the only one, is what I realized six years later when Law embraced me and I embraced it!

It was then when these started popping up in mind - of 'being a student of a traditional law university' versus 'being a student of a NLU', which very much exists in this profession (like many others, I am sure) till date, sadly. Yes, they judge you here by not who and what you as an individual are, but by which college you are from. Right or wrong, it is there. Naturally, I fell in the trap of such elite encitement. Not for becoming a part of such system but may be to know if it is actually so. Meaning, Curiosity of exploring what at all are these NLUs like made me chase them, and thus began my study for the hyped CLAT for my post-graduation.

God's grace clubbed with efforts, sincerity, and hope gave me the third best NLU of this country to become a Masters in International and Comparative Law. That smile on my dad and mom's face that day is something that I can never afford to forget. I was way too happy.

(P.S: The first two best NLU's happen to be in the South part of the country and I being a South Indian always wanted to explore the North. Thus, in my head I got the best one!! Blessing in disguise as they say!) 

The stink of sucking at an entrance exam could only be neutralised by the fragrance of cracking one and yes, this fragrance was indeed a relish!

Staying away from home and the smell of fish everywhere around was a pain to bear initially until they became the reasons for my missing a place that I fell in love with - Kolkata!

It was in this place that my dream came true and how could it not then be special and dear to me?! That breeze in the auto that day, enroute the way to meet Rana Sir, the 'Dream-Boss', was sprinkling a lot of emotions, liberally, in my belly. Excitement, nervousness, happiness, hope and what not! And there I was finally meeting him and feeling blessed to receive his warmth and care.

"If you wish, My Chamber is always open for you." is what I got to hear that day! And it is not easy to express what those meant to me. These words had a long battle behind them. These words were an acknowledgement of efforts and hard-work for years. These words were 'just' what you have been striving and wanting to hear, and you get them that day! Definitely, one of the best moments of my life to have received such words from him. A year later, there I was as a Junior of Mr. Rana Mukherjee, Senior Advocate, Supreme Court of India. If this is not the fruit of your years of hard-work, dedication, hope, sincerity, prayers and blessings, what else can be?!

To be a part of such a chamber and to be at the Apex Court of this country as a part of your first job had its own sweet challenges to cope up with. But then the simplicity, modesty, and generosity of my Senior/Boss and fellow-colleagues made the journey of facing such challenges a smoother and an enjoyable one.

But then this cannot be it. World is never short of hatred and sadism. "Gold Medal in a batch of eighteen students from a traditional law university is as good as winning a race with two participants in it." is what I kept hearing frequently! Though till date I could not understand the logic of such comment for even winning 'between two' is still winning! But then I realized that you cannot always shut the dirty mouths for then life becomes boring!!

But yes, you can always promote such haters and sadists to the next level of their job by gifting them a 'Gold Medal' in International and Comparative Law from NLU, Kolkata, and a scholarship of Rs. 10k for topping the batch! 

Yes, that again was very very special and dear to me and it was just the love and support of my family, friends and well wishers that made me reach here and stand firm.

So yes, my life is not free from twists and turns and some breath-taking tests. Life has always tested me and continues to do so even when it gifted me with a choice between 'Delhi and my dream work' and 'Family's happiness and a supporting, loving husband-to-be', and unsurprisingly the virtues of a womanhood somewhere make you choose the 'smiles around you' over 'yours', which is what makes each woman who she is, truly,  - 'Strong and beautiful'.

So yes, a journey of regaining the lost morale; redefining the dreams of life; rejuvenating the warm hearts around more, than shutting bad mouths; re-passing the waves of joys and sorrows; and relishing each day of life and the surprises that it brings along, has begun with a reassurance to self that it reaches the destined end this time!

But yes, this time, it is with the greatest reverence to the 'new-found-old-friends' - Dedication, Hard-work and Passion!

(P.S.: Sometimes, all it takes is telling to yourself - "After all, I am not that bad!".) 

#SelfMotivationIsTheBestMotivation!

Slowdown!

Slowdown a bit and breathe,
Slowdown a bit and see around..
There are still beautiful smiles and hearts,
That make life simple and beautiful😊

Slowdown a bit and feel,
Slowdown a bit and cherish..
There are still moments of bliss,
That make you feel happiness is a  high😊

Slowdown a bit and accept,
Slowdown a bit and appreciate..
There is still a 'good' in everyone,
That touches your soul to give you a smile😊

Slowdown a bit and close your eyes,
Slowdown a bit and be grateful,
There is still something called 'love',
That breathes with you to go when you are gone😊😊
                                  

'Babies in the cocoon!'

After a long time, I sit with my pen today,
To come close to my words lost in the 'Run'!
'The Run of Life' as they say!

Angry and annoyed are these hidden in cocoon,
To disturb and unfold which, scared I am!
As long as in cocoon 'they are there' I feel,
To protect them is to keep them there, I feel.

But I know I forget their anger.

I ask them to stay knowing they want to sprout,
I keep them hidden while I run the race.
I shout and scold to make them shut,
To whine and cry when they lose the fight!

To keep them there is selfish I know.
To let them grow is a relish I know.

Blurred by the run, I suppress their breath,
Lost in the run, I miss my breath!

So today I sit, to prick a hole,
To give them some, life and soul :-)

I want to run clinging onto them,
While they breathe and shine as a 'gem' :-)

Thorns on the path, they will soon meet I know,
But time it is for them to come out and know..
That all I did was for the love for them and just to see them someday grow :-)

Being in the middle!

You climb up the stairs with smiles and heart,
Yet clinging on to the ease of start.

Your legs move up and mind moves down,
To blush and smile, and laugh and cry.

Then you pause to think for a while,
But at the peak is that lustrous goal,
Or may be a way for an empty soul?

Now you know that a step ahead is a step behind,
But you know you can't stop and stand.

Yes you know that it's a battle of mind,
With a mind that is 'Stable and Sound'!

This is me on this step now!
Until I find me in the step above!
                                    

Rock n Roar!

No no no no..not anymore!
Done with penning shit and sour!

Time is now ripe.. to rock and roar,
For anyway life is full of bore!

Chuck the cries and it's sore,
There are, to write on that, in crore!

Need is now to spread it more,
The smiles, the joys, hidden at core :-)

Let us now kick the rusted door,
To rock n roll on life's new floor :-)

Shun away the words you swore,
Just to relish the beauty of a shore :-)

Life is but a count of four,
Make count thus each single hour :-) :-)

All for the love to tell a tale :-)

Why wouldn't it, but be normal!
For a writer to be abnormal!
His is a play with not jus 'a' vowel!
But them with other infinite in numeral!

May be a petal or a metal!
Ain't smooth is, but certain, the struggle!
Endless the battle n thus the fable!
For the magnanimity of 'each' syllable!

Write and rub.. fight and fail!
All for the love to tell a tale😊😊
                                   

It doesn't matter..does it?

It doesn't matter if you've had quite a few bad days in life..for life is much more than that!

It doesn't matter if, at times in life, you've had to be with undesirable elements..for now you know the worth of those desired!

It doesn't matter if some scars of insult and pain have remained in you..for now, they make way only for your growth and grin!

It doesn't matter if you've had to taste the depth of a downfall..for now you have tasted a new taste in life!

It doesn't matter if you aren't making someone happy some days..for now you are giving solace to the sober!

It doesn't matter if nothing is going your way..for now you have a hope to live with!

Thus then what matters in life?
Know not the answer to this..for lies hidden deep inside this search, life's real bliss!!

Journey of a beautiful life?!

This is that point in the curve of life..
Where you are on top of a slope that is steeping down!
When all your dreams seem to rife..
You realize it's yet a dream of dawn!

It is that feel in the belly..
That one gets to feel rarely!

So much to see..so much to understand..
So much to accept..and so much to for stand!
But all that you have is a groaning stomach and an empty hand!

Moments of pain.. moments of gain..
Moments of fright..moments of fun..
In all, time flies, leaving behind you in search of a 'perfect run'!

It's all about exploring you realize..
Be it power, people, price or pitfall!

Who says there is something called a life of a 'grown up' expected to know life from down to up?
Alas! Let me then tell you..
I still stand in the place where i was..still feeling as hollow as an empty cup!!

So indeed then may I say..
Everyday is a discovery..everyday is an experience!
Everyday is a history..everyday is a mystery!
May be this is what one calls - 'journey of a beautiful life'?!
                                      

If u stop..I stop too!!

I wonder why I write?!
But then I know!
I write for You.
I write for 'You' my dear, whom I want to have but then smile to myself for wanting so!
For You, who is the only one to give me for those moments the luxury of pure bliss!
For You, who keeps me going, for else life would be nothing but boring!
For You, the love for whom just grows bigger and bigger and for self, smaller and smaller!
For You, who can only be shared with paper and else none!
For You are the only beloved to empower me, engulf me and energize me!

Am eternally in love with 'YOU' - my dear DREAM!
The day u stop..I stop too!!
                                           

I want to start, I want to walk!

I want to walk on my own,
And want shoulders of none;

I want to jump high with a free heart,
And fearless be of any hurt;

I want to laugh loudly, dance madly,
And never again feel lonely;

Now I have known what is it to be sad,
And for no reason going mad..

Every broken thing heals is what I learn,
From this little bone of my limb that is torn;

Sun paves way to moon,
And this goes on and on;
Dark and light are the faces of nature,
And indeed are the life's biggest teacher;

Hard or soft be the path,
I want to start, I want to walk;

I want to walk on my own,
And want shoulders of none :-)

U left us..Words left me..

For a writer fond of writing,
Say words - ' we won't express what you are going through'.
He cries, he shouts, he begs.
And they laugh!
He feels blank.
His page and pen become scary.
His heart sinks.
How can I keep all this in? cries he in pain.
But hell-bent words smile and say-
' You suffer! We won't do what you want us to do'.
He challenges them. He dares them.
Moves away from all..
Sits in dark to face and bow down to them -
' Please flow and make me feel light'.
They say - 'Go on and give it a try'.
Comes the pen back in hand with a thought of relief -
"Shocked, terrified, ripped apart, broken, shattered, deeply cut into pieces, suffocating, thirsty for a drop of water since ages, body bleeding with pain"..
Well, throws far away, he, the pen.
And words laugh at him, again.
They know. They know they are powerless in this. They know too, they fail to express this grief in him.
But how do they make this poor man understand this!
They are unarmed. They are handless to slap and awaken him.
But then, he fights. He is deeply annoyed. He is desperate.
And then they say -
' Oh my dear fool! This pain in you can only be felt by you. God has made some limits for us too..we fail beyond that line. So my dear you, stop fighting with us and accept this.'
Drops the pen with eyes numb and says he -
'I shall feel it and feel it alone'.
Then say the words to him -
'We are with you to do all that we can'.
Come on paper these -
" I WILL LOVE YOU ALWAYS AND WILL MISS YOU IN EVERY STEP OF MY LIFE AHEAD."
Tickles a smile on his face realizing how these simple words spoke it all..

FlashBack!

Sometimes it's nice to re-visit your dreams,
That got crushed and buried deep;
Prick your belly wickedly these scenes,
Ruin the day and its sleep;

Yet the evil mind is no less to show its real genes,
In enjoying for moments those fantasies that once laid in heap;

Ah! You dreams of teens..
That I failed to reap;
Stop flashing your brassy beams,
For me to end the endless weep😄😊

"ARE YOU ANGRY AND HUNGRY TOO?"

It is said ’anger and hunger’ always bring out the truth and best in you and yes, I am angry and I am hungry. And it is these super-active emotions in me that are speaking out today!

Anger- for the things that I see day-in and day-out for being born as a girl in a society like that of ours, for the helplessness that the so called ‘preachings‘ of our society have studded me with, and for the like sufferings that I witness in like-beings, everyday.

Hunger- of that day- to breathe freedom in actual, to feel respected, equally considered, and liberate even the last woman of this land from the clutches of male-dominance.

Well, I am not harassed as per harassment laws, nor am I exploited, which I am sure, you might be feeling by now, for the words I used so far. But yes, am hurt, am upset and am disturbed. Tons of thanks to my mind for being disturbed, and for having the hope of feeding my hunger and kicking my anger away.

Be it to see a woman working selflessly and yet be shouted upon, to cool down his frustrations at the end of the day, by her spouse; or to see a friend of mine beaten to blood by her boyfriend; or to hear easy comments and slangs on the character of a girl for the alike deeds, which gift guys with absolutely ‘nothing’ on character. 

Well, before you start branding me as a feminist or female chauvinist etc etc which is quite expected of you, let me clarify myself. I respect the laws of nature. By equality, I do not mean treating unlike alike. I do understand womanhood and the chastity, strength, and softness that it carries along, but what I mean by equality, freedom, and liberty here is ‘appreciation’, ‘respect’, and ‘gratitude’ that a woman deserves, for all the selfless works that she ‘mostly’ puts up. Unfortunately, even that is to be begged for, by most of the women, even till today.

Rape, sexual harassment, female foeticide, dowry death, physical exploitation, domestic violence, and what not, are in one or the other way, a reflection of male dominance, in terms of physical strength, and societal status that they perceive.  

This change in societal pattern cannot be witnessed by enacting stronger laws, or by declaring reservations for women, or by ever-growing women rights’ organizations. But instead, I feel proper moral education and sound values, especially to the males, and an air of awareness, make a society more alert and lend a hand to awaken the illusionists of this land. Education gets into head only when bellies are full, and thus poverty is the root and the major concern to be hit at, at the soonest, is what I strongly believe in. 

They say, the biggest enemy of a woman is another woman!! Strangely and unfortunately it makes absolute sense. So let’s start with appreciating, respecting and gratifying each other first, and then open a hand to receive the toughest in our land!!

In the end, I quote-

“यत्र  नार्यस्तु  पूज्यन्ते रमन्ते  तत्र  देवताः”

Meaning, 

“Where women are honored, blossoms there Divinity”.