Born to an Anaesthetist father and grandfather, and a Gynaecologist uncle, I guess my career was pretty much sealed! As they cut my umbilical cord, I am sure, they must have imagined me cutting many such in the years to come!
But to their and my big disappointment, eighteen years later, their imagination, which by now had become mine as well, remained one such! I messed up my Medical Entrance test and felt the punch of a 'ban' at the entrance of my 'Doctor-Dream'! Lack of efforts, proper guidance and required quantum of dedication took the form of such a 'ban', I feel, in introspection today.
But yes, the mess was needed. It was needed to break my records of holding head high for being a meritorious student always, and introduce me to the 'Real World' that bothered least about either my merit or my mess! So here I was, saying a Hi to the 'Race of Life', as they say!
Also was I in a two year old Government Law University with not much infrastructure, faculty, or books, but yes at a distance of 13 Kms from my residence which made it 'My Law University' for the next five years!
The wounds of disappointment, extreme shatter, and taunts of people around, and lots of introspection, had now made me realize the worth of two words in life - 'Dedication' and 'Hard work'. They say realization usually comes late, but am glad it came!
'Law' - the word itself was alien to a family of doctors and engineers and so was for me. But not for too long. The journey of making it 'My Love' from an 'Alien' began. Began amidst loads of tears, low morale and a sense of being lost and suppressed. Being a first generation lawyer in a profession that reveres 'family name and fame' was not an easy thing to accept and fight against single handedly.
But then as they say "Luck favours the brave", the two words that I had recently started appreciating more and befriended with, favoured me. Dedication and Hard Work were my new friends now!
There was no looking back thereafter. I had to stop crying somewhere and that's when I started enjoying turning pages of law books, and now I was feeling lost, not in life, but in my dreams of achieving something big by doing something good. The pages of law books had this power of provoking this in me, I must admit today!
The new found friends then drove me only towards more and more books, good marks and the goal of a 'Gold Medal' and proved their loyalty in friendship beyond expectations! However, this whole thing made me realize and continues to do so always, that the power of 'Passion' is immense. It indeed is.
It was the same passion that had pushed me to Delhi in the final year of my law college, by when the words 'Law', 'Justice' and 'Relief' had started making sense to me to aspire to become a Litigation Lawyer with a hope of bringing smiles on some disturbed faces. Yes this is exactly why I wanted to become a doctor as well, but now, 'Law' seemed a better instrument than 'knife and blood'!
So this is how I landed in the chamber of Mr. Rana Mukherjee, a Senior Advocate of the Supreme Court of India at New-Delhi, for a span of four weeks, the life changing ones. I say so for a simple reason that, this chamber made me realize that it is actually possible to 'enjoy your work and life together'. To describe this chamber, I would but require these words: Happiness, Hard-work, Punctuality, Discipline, Simplicity, Love for food, Love for work and a 'Gossip-free-zone'!
Why not, but for obvious, did this chamber now gave me the new goal - "how will it be like to be a part of this chamber? - 'Wow'!"
Again the 'Wow' word's motivation is immense. Unknowingly it drives you towards your dream by making you put-in efforts and energy in that direction. That's called 'Want' of something!
The National Law Universities and CLAT (Common Law Entrance Test) were just a matter of General Knowledge to me as a science student who believed by observing, and quite naturally so, that being a Doctor was the 'Ultimate'. It is undoubtedly so, but may be not the only one, is what I realized six years later when Law embraced me and I embraced it!
It was then when these started popping up in mind - of 'being a student of a traditional law university' versus 'being a student of a NLU', which very much exists in this profession (like many others, I am sure) till date, sadly. Yes, they judge you here by not who and what you as an individual are, but by which college you are from. Right or wrong, it is there. Naturally, I fell in the trap of such elite encitement. Not for becoming a part of such system but may be to know if it is actually so. Meaning, Curiosity of exploring what at all are these NLUs like made me chase them, and thus began my study for the hyped CLAT for my post-graduation.
God's grace clubbed with efforts, sincerity, and hope gave me the third best NLU of this country to become a Masters in International and Comparative Law. That smile on my dad and mom's face that day is something that I can never afford to forget. I was way too happy.
(P.S: The first two best NLU's happen to be in the South part of the country and I being a South Indian always wanted to explore the North. Thus, in my head I got the best one!! Blessing in disguise as they say!)
The stink of sucking at an entrance exam could only be neutralised by the fragrance of cracking one and yes, this fragrance was indeed a relish!
Staying away from home and the smell of fish everywhere around was a pain to bear initially until they became the reasons for my missing a place that I fell in love with - Kolkata!
It was in this place that my dream came true and how could it not then be special and dear to me?! That breeze in the auto that day, enroute the way to meet Rana Sir, the 'Dream-Boss', was sprinkling a lot of emotions, liberally, in my belly. Excitement, nervousness, happiness, hope and what not! And there I was finally meeting him and feeling blessed to receive his warmth and care.
"If you wish, My Chamber is always open for you." is what I got to hear that day! And it is not easy to express what those meant to me. These words had a long battle behind them. These words were an acknowledgement of efforts and hard-work for years. These words were 'just' what you have been striving and wanting to hear, and you get them that day! Definitely, one of the best moments of my life to have received such words from him. A year later, there I was as a Junior of Mr. Rana Mukherjee, Senior Advocate, Supreme Court of India. If this is not the fruit of your years of hard-work, dedication, hope, sincerity, prayers and blessings, what else can be?!
To be a part of such a chamber and to be at the Apex Court of this country as a part of your first job had its own sweet challenges to cope up with. But then the simplicity, modesty, and generosity of my Senior/Boss and fellow-colleagues made the journey of facing such challenges a smoother and an enjoyable one.
But then this cannot be it. World is never short of hatred and sadism. "Gold Medal in a batch of eighteen students from a traditional law university is as good as winning a race with two participants in it." is what I kept hearing frequently! Though till date I could not understand the logic of such comment for even winning 'between two' is still winning! But then I realized that you cannot always shut the dirty mouths for then life becomes boring!!
But yes, you can always promote such haters and sadists to the next level of their job by gifting them a 'Gold Medal' in International and Comparative Law from NLU, Kolkata, and a scholarship of Rs. 10k for topping the batch!
Yes, that again was very very special and dear to me and it was just the love and support of my family, friends and well wishers that made me reach here and stand firm.
So yes, my life is not free from twists and turns and some breath-taking tests. Life has always tested me and continues to do so even when it gifted me with a choice between 'Delhi and my dream work' and 'Family's happiness and a supporting, loving husband-to-be', and unsurprisingly the virtues of a womanhood somewhere make you choose the 'smiles around you' over 'yours', which is what makes each woman who she is, truly, - 'Strong and beautiful'.
So yes, a journey of regaining the lost morale; redefining the dreams of life; rejuvenating the warm hearts around more, than shutting bad mouths; re-passing the waves of joys and sorrows; and relishing each day of life and the surprises that it brings along, has begun with a reassurance to self that it reaches the destined end this time!
But yes, this time, it is with the greatest reverence to the 'new-found-old-friends' - Dedication, Hard-work and Passion!
(P.S.: Sometimes, all it takes is telling to yourself - "After all, I am not that bad!".)
#SelfMotivationIsTheBestMotivation!
