FINDING A BETTER ME!

As a little baby girl, was I crowned a queen, by dad;
As a growing toddler, was I pampered and loved, by mom;
As a younger sister, was I given whatever demanded, by sister;
As a soft heart, was I listened to always, by my buddies;
As a demanding girlfriend, were fulfilled my wishes, by boyfriend;
As a hard worker, were my little achievements applauded, by people around;
As a sinner at times, was I left by one to be loved, by another;
As a fortunate child, was I had all that, I asked for;

Now that am a grown up, am I utterly failing, to bend when wrong :(
It is nothing, but to bow down, am I not taught.

Thought the world would always love me the way I am;
Never thought would I sense this urge in people around, for me to send away that me which I was;

Obsessively in love am I today with the way I am me;
Oh my dear God!Why am I not being loved the way I am:(

Why not, but am I amazed, hurt and confused, to sense, feel and understand the grown up and the so called 'matured' world;

Tired am I today to fight anymore to be me;
Afraid am I today to lose the very little lovely people with me;
Statue-d am I today by an inner me to change for a different me;
Conflicted am I today by my thoughts to give up the real me;
Angry am I today on the world, that is demanding a change in me;
Convinced am I today for the need to bow down the stubborn me;

Wish or not, I am giving up today with a hope of finding a better me